What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why do women consider 80% of men as unattractive?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

True - how I loved my mum!

What do you mean son?

While emptying a house, have you ever seen something in it that blew your mind?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

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Do you know what she said mum?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Why do liberals think it is okay to steal votes while the rest of us obey the law(s)?

What! how could you do that?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Why is my older sister so mean to me as if I was her enemy?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”